Sunday, December 9, 2012

A Sense of Nostalgia

It snowed here over night, and it is finally feeling like winter. I am glad I got to see snow this year. I don't know if I will be seeing snow when I leave for Israel. The combination of this snow and the wonderful music I have been hearing all weekend have just put me into a very nostalgic mood. It is one of those moods where you just want to cry for no reason, but also for every reason.

I'm sitting next to a giant fake tree in my school's atrium realizing that this won't really be my home as it is now this time next year. It is a tradition of sorts for Juniors and Seniors to get a class ring here. I remember that when I ordered mine I wanted to make sure that it had meaning. I didn't want it to just symbolize a tradition, I wanted it to mean more. For me, it means all the people that I have met, and everything I learned, both in the classroom and about myself. This is really my last week here. When I come back it will be different. It will be me remembering all the shenanigans I got into, all the stories I had, all the people I met from other countries, and all my friends I made. It really is a time where everything just wants to come flooding out. Despite only knowing some people for only a few years, they have become some of my closest friends. Leaving high school never sucked this much, that's for sure. Why do all good things have to come to an end? 

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Getting My Ducks In A Row

Well, it turns out that I will be a little pressed for some money when I go to Jerusalem. On one hand this is nice, because I will have to stick to a very tight budget, something that I am not completely against. However, I am saddened because I may not get to see some of the things that I may want to check out while I am there. I am not as concerned with travelling over the whole countryside and jet-setting to other countries. I feel there will be enough going on in Jerusalem for me to keep myself occupied.

In other news I am getting all of my flights figured out, so I will get to New York with ample time for me to ensure that I will not miss my flight to Israel, because that would be kind of completely terrible. I am already figuring out what to pack. It is hard to think about what you will need for 6 months. In January (avg. 43-54 degrees) I will need pants and sweaters, but by the time June (avg. 65-81 degrees) comes around it will be getting somewhat warm (well by my standards, maybe not by the locals). I am a fan of really hot weather, so 81 degrees is still on the cooler side for me. However, you can see the problem.

It sounds weird complaining about clothes and such material things, but clothing is one thing that I definitely cannot afford to purchase in Israel. I have also been advised by leaders on campus to pack the things I know I won't be able to get in Israel. Things like: face wash, razor blades, favorite deodorant  favorite toothpaste, etc. I am not too concerned about shampoo, because I will cope with that one. Probably deodorant and toothpaste too. I do realize that I will probably end up bringing at least one of all of these. I don't know when the first time I will be able to go out and hunt for all of these things, since the day we fly in we go straight to the university and register.

In other news, I am searching routes to learn Akkadian. The Hebrew University offers Akkadian, which is crazy awesome. For more information you can click here. I am aware that it is a wikipedia page, but it is a nice synopsis. If anyone should know one thing about me is that I absolutely love ancient languages. Akkadian is so ancient that it makes Biblical Hebrew (which I study now) seem like a modern language. I think it is a fascinating thing to study the languages that helped the foundations of civilizations that we are familiar with today. Language is a powerful tool. It can be used to destroy, but it can also be used to create. I think people could all stand to learn a couple languages in their time on terra firma.

As of today, I have finished one of my final papers for one of my classes this semester. I now only have my 25 page (minimum) research paper for my senior thesis. I also have a final test, but I am not too concerned about it, and will probably not worry about it until the actual day. It is probably not the best strategy, but it is a strategy at least. I am also getting all of graduate school materials together and then I will eagerly be awaiting to hear either affirmative or negative on my acceptance. That also means I will be putting in for housing and loans and all of that super fun stuff before I leave for Jerusalem. Lots of do and not too much time. My visa is hopefully going to be sent of next week, and then I will be able to actually be let into Israel and stay there.

But alas, my time for blogging must come to an end for now. That huge paper will not revise itself. I will hopefully do a nice celebratory post after I finish that righteous beast.

Monday, December 3, 2012

A Severe Lack of Care

This is not good. My impending travel to Israel is clouding my mind to what is important now. But how am I to focus when I still have so much to do? This isn't going to be a long post at all, simply my musings about my life currently, and how I am trying to live in the present moment.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

When It Hits Home

Less than two months!!!! I am not sure how to even handle this. I am excited, terribly sad, and apprehensive all at the same time. I have less than two weeks left in my current semester and now Jerusalem is shockingly evident. I do my Visa process tomorrow and then I have to take care of my loans and all of that good stuff.

One of the things that will be the hardest for me to overcome is missing the "lasts." I am a senior this year, so this means that I will be missing my graduation walk (which in all honesty, isn't really that sad). What I am sad for is this final month of school, because it is essentially my last month with some of the most amazing people I have ever met. And I'm not ready to say goodbye yet. I've vocalized it once before at a meeting, but it really hasn't set in until now. "I come back to no one." When I am done and return home school will have been over for at least a month. My classmates will be seeking jobs and gone, and it really sucks knowing (even though I wish it wasn't true in the slightest) that these next two weeks may be the last time I ever see some of these people ever again in my life. 

My time table is becoming smaller and smaller. There is a world of firsts before me, yet I am finally coming to terms with the lasts that are present around me. 

In my class, "Legacy of Luther," we are discussing Dorothee Soelle and her understanding of mysticism. She identifies three aspects to mysticism. They are: 
1. Be Amazed
2. Let Go
3. Resist/Heal
I finally feel like I am being amazed by my life that will be happening. It is becoming more immanent and more real. I honestly don't want to let go yet, and I think that will be the hardest for me. I won't permanently let go, of course. Simply, the idea that everyone will stay the same. Who knows. Maybe when I come home I will find out I will be in the company of my friends in the future. That would honestly be fantastic, and I can only hope. For now, the emotions are hitting hard.