When It Hits Home

Less than two months!!!! I am not sure how to even handle this. I am excited, terribly sad, and apprehensive all at the same time. I have less than two weeks left in my current semester and now Jerusalem is shockingly evident. I do my Visa process tomorrow and then I have to take care of my loans and all of that good stuff.

One of the things that will be the hardest for me to overcome is missing the "lasts." I am a senior this year, so this means that I will be missing my graduation walk (which in all honesty, isn't really that sad). What I am sad for is this final month of school, because it is essentially my last month with some of the most amazing people I have ever met. And I'm not ready to say goodbye yet. I've vocalized it once before at a meeting, but it really hasn't set in until now. "I come back to no one." When I am done and return home school will have been over for at least a month. My classmates will be seeking jobs and gone, and it really sucks knowing (even though I wish it wasn't true in the slightest) that these next two weeks may be the last time I ever see some of these people ever again in my life. 

My time table is becoming smaller and smaller. There is a world of firsts before me, yet I am finally coming to terms with the lasts that are present around me. 

In my class, "Legacy of Luther," we are discussing Dorothee Soelle and her understanding of mysticism. She identifies three aspects to mysticism. They are: 

1. Be Amazed

2. Let Go

3. Resist/Heal

I finally feel like I am being amazed by my life that will be happening. It is becoming more immanent and more real. I honestly don't want to let go yet, and I think that will be the hardest for me. I won't permanently let go, of course. Simply, the idea that everyone will stay the same. Who knows. Maybe when I come home I will find out I will be in the company of my friends in the future. That would honestly be fantastic, and I can only hope. For now, the emotions are hitting hard.